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Warning Signs to Look Out for on a Date

By: Emma Jones - Updated: 8 Jun 2015 | comments*Discuss
Warning Signs Signs Date Instinct Gut

It is rare that deviant behaviour comes out of nowhere. When a good person seems to suddenly turn bad 95% of the time there have been warning signs that we have chosen to ignore. By trusting your instinct and looking out for the signs, you can prevent the bad happening.

Asking too Many Questions

Obviously when you are out on a date you want to find out all you can about the other person. However when the questions seem to be getting too personal or asking for detailed information then you are right to feel wary. People who are planning to take advantage of you will try to gather as much information from you as possible. Often they are very skilled in doing this subtly and without drawing too much suspicion so if something doesn’t feel right then step back and think about the situation. If you don’t think they need to know something or don’t feel comfortable disclosing it then don’t.

Suggesting Seclusion

It may seem romantic, fun or intimate to go somewhere more secluded with your date but unless you know them well it is never a good idea. If your date has ulterior motives they are likely to try their best to persuade you it is a good idea. They may say the current venue is too loud or smoky or that they want to get to know you better. They may also try to cast aside your doubts by saying you are being silly or untrustworthy or attempt to make you feel more at ease by telling you a variety of reasons why it will be safe. All these methods are a way to get you somewhere more secluded by making you second guess yourself. Stick to your guns and if they are genuine they will let it go.

Rude or Violent Behaviour

People who exhibit rude or violent behaviour to others are showing a dangerous side to their character that could eventually extend to you. If your date is unduly rude to a waiter or anyone else then take note. If another man insults you or tries to chat you up and your date jumps violently to your defence, his overreaction should not be take as flattery but a warning sign.

Ranting About Exes

Sure, everybody has grudges and we all hold some kind of antagonism about an ex. However, if you date talks extensively about an ex in a threatening manner then this is not a good sign. Remember, that one day you might do something to upset them and that same anger could then be directed against you.

Excess Drinking

Everybody gets nervous when they are on a date and it is natural to have a few drinks to calm you down. However if your date seems to be getting through drinks very quickly or ordering a lot of shots or strong alcohol then be a bit wary. Heavy drinking can lead to violent and aggressive behaviour

Your Reactions

The best reaction you have against danger is your own gut feeling. Your instinct often reacts to warning signs that your conscious mind may not have processed. Never discount that funny feeling in your stomach or doubt that you just can’t put your finger on.

Similarly if you feel yourself feeling unusually drunk in relation to the amount of alcohol you have consumed then pay attention to it. This is the reaction that most people who have been drugged report and telling someone immediately could prevent you being date raped.

However much you may like your date and want things to go well, never ignore the warning signs. Pay attention to your gut feeling and if something doesn’t feel right, the chances are it isn’t.

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@Sammo. Just say on a first date you'd like to be a in a public place where there are other people around (and adding something like "my friends will say I'm stupid if I don't" might help).
SaferDates - 12-Jun-15 @ 11:35 AM
I've met a guy on Grindr who wants to take me out on a drive in his car. We've spoken to each other a fair bit. It's seemed like a good idea at the time. But in a way I'm kind of worried and scared incase something happens. How's the best way to explain to him how I feel as I kind of now feel uncomfortable with the idea.
Sammo - 8-Jun-15 @ 8:24 PM
@jo080448 - thanks for telling us about your dating experience, you did the right thing.
SaferDates - 15-Oct-14 @ 10:37 AM
I had an experience on a first date with a guy.The original plan was to meet at a bar where there were plenty of people there so we went as planned sat down and chatted and he then asked me would l like to go for a secluded drive to somewhere rural and my answer was thanks for the offer but no thanks and I said how that was inappropriate for a first date and maybe see about doing that on a later date and after that he didn't stay long and there was no second date as he had rung me with an excuse of why it couldn't happen which I saw through and I put it down to sour grapes because I wouldn't give him his own way by saying no to the secluded drive and I decided to let him go and not bother with him again.I am bloody glad I had the confidence to have told him no and never got in his car as you don't get over being raped and having sex forced on you but I soon got over the cancelled date and look at it as a blessing in disguise!Good riddance to bad rubbish!
jo080448 - 14-Oct-14 @ 10:24 PM
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