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Perfect Your Flirting Technique

By: Emma Jones - Updated: 12 Oct 2012 | comments*Discuss
Flirt Flirting Date Eye Contact Body

For some, flirting comes completely naturally, while for others it can seem like foreign territory. Flirting is fun, harmless and fairly necessary if you want to convince your date you are interested in them. Don’t worry, your moves don’t have to be outrageously over the top, but a few subtle techniques will help you convey your feelings and add a spark of sexual tension to the evening.

Eye Contact

The eyes are the windows to the soul and are crucial in the art of flirting. A simple coy look can be extremely seductive. Turn it up a notch to ‘come to bed eyes’ and your eyes can do all the talking.

If you are trying to attract someone’s attention look down briefly before tilting your eyes up and making eye contact. Hold the glance for a little longer than you normally would and then look away. This tells them you are interested and adds a slight sense of intrigue to the exchange. Another easy one is to look from your date’s eyes to their lips while they are talking to you. Now, don’t do this too rapidly or often as you might look a bit strange, but the odd glance will make them aware you fancy them.

Body Language

80 per cent of communication is non-verbal and your body language speaks very loudly about how you feel. Firstly always sit with your whole body face toward your date and your legs crossed towards them. You want to make yourself seem as open and approachable as possible. This means don’t sit with your arms crossed or in a defensive position as it will come across as if you are unwilling to let anybody get close to you. Lean in towards your date to appear engaged and use head movements to show you a listening to what they are saying.

Physical Contact

There is no need to slide your hand up your date’s thigh to show you are interested in them. More subtle touches are a lot sexier. The easiest way to create physical contact is to touch them briefly when you are laughing at something they have said. This is a natural action and will appear unrehearsed but still have the desired affect. In the same way, tap their leg or arm if you are excusing yourself for a moment and brush past them as you leave.

What to Say

We have established that most of your flirting will be non-verbal anyway but that last 20 per cent can make the crucial difference. Again there is no need to be all brash and crude just the odd subtle word or reaction will do the trick. The key is to seem interested and amused by what the other person has to say. Compliment them with phrases such as ‘you’re so funny/insightful/interesting.’ It is more the intonation and insinuation in your tone that are more important than what you say. Keep your voice soft and sincere and don’t say anything you don’t mean.

Really flirting is just about having fun for both parties. It is a way of testing the water and signalling your attraction without being too obvious. If you try too hard it will come across that way and that is definitely not sexy. Relax, make yourself open and approachable and just show that you are enjoying their company.

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