Getting Home
If you decide that it is best to go back to your date’s place then it is important that you know how you will get home. Make sure you know the exact address and write it down or put it in your phone. Also have a couple of trusted taxi numbers handy and have a back up such as a night bus or friend who can pick you up. Before you leave a public place check that you have enough money to pay for the taxi home.
Giving out Your Details
By letting your date come back to yours you are automatically giving out your personal details. It is unlikely you know a whole lot about them at this stage and it is impossible to tell if they might be dangerous or turn into a stalker. They now know where you live and even if you decide this is just a one night stand they might not see it the same way and now have the first tool to harass you.
Let Someone Know
Whatever you decide in the your place or mine debate make sure you let someone know. If you are going back to theirs then text the address to a friend. If they are coming back to yours then tell someone. Even better is if you live with housemates and know they will be home. This gives you a bit of security an unwritten safety net.
Safe Sex
When you decide to take a date to bed you know nothing about the other person’s sexual history and using condoms is a must. Even if you are on the pill it won’t protect against stds which can be a sore ending to some great sex. Don’t leave things to chance or expect the other person to have condoms, always carry your own with you. This doesn’t make you promiscuous or easy, it just makes you sensible. If your date refuses to use them then refuse to have sex with them.
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Changing Your Mind
Sometimes what seems likes a great idea in a smoky bar suddenly seems a bit stupid in the bright lights of the bedroom. You may feel that you are being a tease or unfair changing your mind but you should never have sex with anyone if you don’t want to. If you are at their place then explain your feelings and leave. If they are at yours then explain your feelings and offer to call them a taxi. Your date will obviously be disappointed but will hopefully understand. If they become aggressive or violent then be firm, don’t let yourself be in a confined environment with them and alert someone by making noise or if possible phoning the police.
Why not Wait?
The way to take away the dilemma of ‘your place or mine?’ is simply not to go. If the sparks are flying and the attraction is strong then it can be difficult to fight the urge. However, by waiting a bit longer you will get to know your date better and feel more comfortable being alone with them.
So before you drag that hot date back to bed, take a few moments to decide where you want to wake up in the morning.
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